I got a call from my uncle Boris on Skype about a few weeks before November 8th, 2016 while hanging out with my 28 relatives and family friends. We were having a barbecue during Octoberfest! “It’s only -25 below the frozen tundra in Siberia” uncle Boris said in a gruff, slow lilt and thick Russian accent (kid you not! that’s actually a warm day during winter solstice!). His message was very simple; “Don’t forget to put a happy face in the voting booth and for the sake of pure unadulterated Vodka, Venison steak, and survival of the great Russian Bear, pull the lever for Donald. J Trump!! “Ask everyone you know to do the same and if the have any doubts or questions about their own sanity and intellectual capacity, they should know, it’s for a good cause! “I will see to it that all your neighbors and friends get my personal text message from uncle Boris with love!” “Join the movement and put our dear beloved Russian Agent into the most powerful position on planet earth!” Imagine a world filled with free Vodka, Oranges, unsalted peanuts, roasted almonds, and Kalashnikovs! Add some Ribs to the mix, heaven on earth!
For everyone out there in the hinterlands and real America outside of California, New York, and Chicago metropolitan areas, you voluntarily canvassed the lands in the sweat of summer. You knocked on millions of your neighbor’s doors and chain linked your emails on facebook, Instagram, and Youtube, including Robo calls. And then some of the audience out there somewhere attended en-masse the ultimate show on earth; one of those electric rock concert worthy rallies addressed by many locally and nationally based KGB agents, who appeared as guest speakers, writers, campaigners and singers and then topped off by the grand prize fighter, master communicator our beloved Russian Bear Donald J. Trump! What was even more impressive and breathtaking was uncovering all the Russian agents that were embedded or implanted in every polling booth from the rustbelt blue-collar midwest to the deep south and hills of Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Tennessee and up the plains of Utah and the Dakotas! Not to add any salt to the political wounds, close to 95% of the voting machines according to Svetlana, uncle Boris’ second wife from Leningrad, were all supplied by her maternal mother’s mercantile Russian Software and business machine company from Moscow! The equivalent of IBM in American standards, the only difference is that the top management were all beach party buddies of king Vlad and thereby undercover KGB agents extraordinaire.
Lest we forget the hacking of talk-FM & AM-radio and all its hosts who were without question seduced by the Vodka supplied by beautiful Ukrainian undercover agents. Whose sole purpose was to entrap every unsuspecting eligible voter to subliminally transcribe and re-translate any negative and opposing viewpoints from the other team of rivals into Pro Donald Trump propaganda using advanced Kiev-Siberia-Moscow software! All this went into the Russian Bears favor as King Vladimir had planned in the bowels of an unreachable underground secret sea-based bunker! Only Russians specifically, had the technology and submarines capable of going 2600 miles deep-sea water diving into the crust of the earth. We Americans can only go 2200 miles deep into the ocean and Earth’s crust! Most Average American voters and new would-be voters were easily persuaded with subliminal messages in every radio and television Advertisement. Makes me wonder if Google, Facebook, Twitter, and SnapChat aren’t just another Russian espionage front? This explains the hysteria at almost every Dinosaur Media outlet; be they, CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC and the list too numerous to mention! If you know your ABC’s alphabet then you get the picture about all the alphabet media outlets, I must say definitively without quoting the dinosaur media, Bravo!! Well done America! Kudos to the forgotten man revolution! The forgotten man and woman has finally overthrown the politburo and elite Bourgeoisie! Ahh! its only taken about 100 years since the Bolsheviks came to town! Speaking Revolution! If it was not for the great coordination of all the Russian agents who helped finance this grass roots movement, providing a clear-cut alternative to the “elite Government-Media complex machine.” And provided the authentic counter balance to the “well oiled automated Clinton-Obama machine.” We would all be in a swamp of muddy trouble. Notwithstanding pertinent issues and the feeling of national pride in fundamental services, such as Healthcare, securing the border, stopping the bleeding and outsourcing of American manufacturing jobs, lowering the extortionist tax rates, cutting burdensome out-of-control regulations, and fixing most if not all of the broken immigration system. Then simultaneously draining the “Washington DC power swamp” to the best “cut and disrupt the system” action plan, that could only be muscled into effect by incoming beloved Russian bear Donald Trump and all his kingly men! A cautionary tale would be to believe the narrative and facts on the ground, that “the other Candidate” not named Donald Trump, was a massively flawed and dishonest candidate who run a “coronation” campaign because it was her turn dang-it! Who in their right thinking mind could dare resist and oppose her majesty the new progressive Queen of these United States of America? It Must just be one of those bunches of honey oats and hot air balloonist who want to stand in the way of the progressives march to a totalitarian utopia. A non-mythical place where everyone is equal makes the same amount of income, and have all they need from cradle to grave. Including a limousine Cadillac health insurance and caskets made out of pure Gold whenever needed at the end of earthly life. In this promised land nobody ever scores a C-grade or an F-grade on any test or exams taken at all levels of education as we may not want to offend and hurt anyone’s feeling. Heavens forbid they get an F-grade on a test they were ill-prepared to take! A Place with no rising sea levels and Polar bears hang out with sea-Lions and seals because they have opted for a vegan diet!
All of this would not have been possible without the Russians playing their godly magic chess moves. Stopping any shenanigans that have been blocked and engineered the last 8 years of consistent offense played by the last great fictional administration, that took care of business, and repeatedly asked the Russians to “knock it off” and stop meddling and monkeying around! Very boisterous and vociferous “no-nonsense message.” As only Hillary Clinton had done to Wall Street Banks & Donors while wagging her very irate finger into their disbelieving eyes a while back in the Bahamas under a clear blues sky with a cool whispering breeze and pure white sand beaches flowing in the background! Unmistakable craftsmanship only the envy of the KGB! And the commander in Briefs followed secretary Clintons lead! Cutting-edge display of tough yet genius retaliatory strikes on Russian Assets! The Kremlin trembles and quakes in their scheming boots! But for their love of this great nation, the Russians kept hacking away and did not abandon the American people and American brand. It’s heartening to see the American folks were not easily swayed and intimidated into recoil or seduced by accepting so many wonderful offers from the well-oiled Government-Media machine. Instead “the people’s movement”, spoke loud and clear; by voting for the electors in every state via a coalition of grassroots radicals, ordinary Joe and Jane Doe, sophisticated mamas and papas, veterans of all stripes, WWII baby boomers, generation XYZ, Millenials and many other “deplorables” stood up and spoke with one nervous yet confident election night voice: From Russia with Love, we will chart a new direction as a city on a shining hill! Folks, have you researched your family tree lately? I knew I always had some Russian blood connections flowing in my veins! Let’s all enjoy this blessing from uncle Boris in Siberia, you make him proud America! for living the dream, cheers! Das Vidania!